Are you finding life difficult at the moment?
Is your relationship going through rocky times?
I may be able to help.
Hello and warm welcome. I am a Certified Emotionally Focused Couples Therapist, EFT Supervisor and EMDR Therapist working with a great variety of couples and individuals. My counselling and psychotherapy practice is based in Newbury, near Thatcham. I also provide online couples psychotherapy and online supervision.
Whether you are seeking support for your relationship or family, I believe it is worth talking about it with a qualified therapist. If you are looking to process some difficulties in your life, couples counselling or EMDR therapy may be able to help you effectively address issues you are dealing with. I hope this website can help you to get a sense if I may be a good fit for what you are looking for.
Below you can read a general guide to couples counselling. This format changes as needed for issues such as trauma, affairs and other significant relationship events.
Some couples want homework assessments to supplement in-session work. For those that do, I recommend an excellent book: “Hold Me Tight” by Sue Johnson. It follows the stages of therapy described below with weekly exercises.
Couples counselling takes on average 12-20 sessions, depending on the level of couple distress, and commitment to the relationship and counselling itself.
Please be aware that recovering from an affair or when there is a history of trauma is a complex process and usually takes at least a year.
When we meet for the first time, I will invite you to talk about what you would like to work on
or resolve in therapy as a couple. If we all agree to continue after this session, we will then set up individual assessment sessions. When these are completed, we will come up with a plan for our work together and set up regular sessions time.
You can treat the stages described below as a map.
It will help to identify where you are getting stuck as a couple and how to move forward.
The first stage of couples psychotherapy lays a foundation for a deeper, lasting change in the relationship. The aim here is to help you de-escalate the conflict, tensions or intensity of arguments between you and your partner, so you can start having different, more connected conversations about the issues that brought you to therapy.
The main points of this stage are:
Please note: virtually every couple has a negative interactive cycle that flares up from time to time, especially when one or both partners are stressed. The couples who come to therapy typically get stuck in this pattern which starts to take over their relationship. Therapy can help get your connection back on track.
This stage requires regular, weekly sessions for the best results.
When you and your partner feel more able and safer to reconnect, you start to be more accessible, responsive and engaged with each other. You start reaching out for each other in new ways. This is how lasting change happens, so you will not be caught in the trap of an escalating conflict again.
At this stage we will be focusing on understanding the more withdrawing partner and the more pursuing partner. The main points here are recognising your own fear and needs and how to reach out to each other in new ways to deal with the problem that brought you to therapy.
This stage can be done with weekly or fortnightly sessions.
The work is almost done! At this point of your journey, both of you can feel safe, engaged and trusting each other.
Old issues are dealt with, or you are confident that you can rely on each other to resolve them. Once again you are looking into the future together.
This stage is usually very brief and fortnight sessions are recommended.
I hope this brief guide to couples therapy answered some of the questions you may have about the process. This guide is an edited version of the couples counselling overview from Couples Zone. Please remember this is a guide only -
- the journey and final destination are yours!
Are you looking for a couples counsellor in Newbury, Thatcham or online?
I am a qualified counsellor and psychotherapist for couples and an EMDR therapist.
To find this website easily next time, try searching for 'counsellor in Newbury',
couples psychotherapist online' or 'online couples psychotherapy'.
Currently I don't have any availability for new clients and my waiting list is closed as I'll be on maternity leave from October 2023. Please check www.beftcentre.org for other EFT Couple Therapists.
"May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears."